The Top 10 Reasons Guys Are Fat

10.)  They do “endurance” sports.  Over achieving at endurance sports shows the Alpha’s you’re weak.  Your fat gut shows us all that your cortisol and stress hormones are elevated and you eat too many carbs to support your slow jogs and lazy bikes.

9.)  They watch sports instead of playing them.  Put the beer, chips and cheese dip down, push back your bar stool or get your fat arse off the couch and take up a sport.  Or at least exercise (lift).

8.)  They have Kashi (or Lucky Charms) and skim milk for breakfast and pasta for dinner.  You remember what Charles said about the box, right?  And no… Kashi protein cereals do not have protein.  You have to get that from meat.  Skim milk is bad for you.  Once they’ve removed the fat, it becomes a high carb drink.  You might as well drink soy milk.

7.)  They drink lattes and mochios and other fru-fru drinks full of sugar.  A typical drink at ‘Bucks can have over 300 cals from sugar.  Get serious guys…  you might as well go to a bar and order a flavored Vodka drink.  While you’re there, go ahead and demand a little umbrella for it.  What difference does it make?  You’re fat…  the girls, with their $150 hair cuts, won’t even notice you, much less you’re drinking a lame drink.

6.)   They don’t follow a diet at all.  They eat meals of pizza, burgers, fries, and anything else they choose and most all of it has bread washed down by beer.  Most guys eat over 3500 calories a day and over half of it is from carbs/sugar.  Guys, you don’t play sports and your exercise doesn’t burn enough calories to support your diet.  Proof?  When you look down, you can’t see your…  ummmm, shoe strings.

5.)  They don’t take time for themselves and relax.  They don’t have to… they spend hours each week sitting on their fat butts watching sports and worse, stuff like Grey’s Anatomy that their bossy wife makes them watch.  How about less time relaxing, more time doing stuff, eh fat boys?

4.)  Their bench press, if they workout at all, is heavier than their dead lift.  You have to use big muscles to elicit the release of strength building, fat burning hormones.  In CrossFit, it’s just as bad…  some skinny clown thinks he’s in shape because he can do double unders or a few ring dips and then promotes that crap as functional fitness, or worse, gymnastics.  That stuff is sexy as hell…  if you’re a ripped chick in a sports bra and booty shorts that can squat 250lbs or more.  It’s weak and pathetic if you’re a guy that can only deadlift 250.

3.)  They don’t sleep enough.  The average American fat guy sleeps less than 7 hours each night.  Sleep is just as important to your health as diet.  One supports the other.  Don’t get enough sleep and you’re sick.  You’re inflammation and lymphocytes are chronically elevated.  Your blood panels show that of a sickly person.  Turn off the TV, blacken the room, play white noise, and take sleep supporting supplements.

2.)  They spend too much time working or just being “busy”.  Inverse to the lazy guy, the workaholic who never stops doing work and compromises everything healthy in his life, will be fat.  If only skinny fat.  Exercise (lift).

1.)  They have to go straight home and not to the gym because their fussy wife makes them.  And if they don’t compliment her new $150 hair cut she won’t fix him dinner and he’ll be forced to consume only chips and cake and beer.

Seriously, guys and girls are fat for the same reasons.  I don’t care if you’re easily offended or not, the fact is, we are a nation of fat people.  Our culture has become a place of accepting people and their behavior no matter what it is.  Then, when it’s time to hold our own accountable, we allow them to blame others or an institution for it.

Fess up and own your actions.  If you’re ok with being fat, be fat.  Just don’t expect the tax dollars to take care of you when all the ailments related to the causes of your fat storage come checking in on your lazy butt.

If this and yesterday’s post offends you, you’re on the wrong website.  The “feel good and no fault” CrossFit affiliate is just down the road.  I’ve said it many times and it will not change… CrossFit Wilmington is where strong people come to train.  CFW will always be a haven for Alphas to let it all hang out.

There’s no judgment here, only accountability.  I get it from my members.  If I act like a jack*ss, they’d leave me for another CF affiliate.  They will always get it from me.  Accountability can’t come without honesty.  I’ve asked members to leave CFW because they were not serious about what we do.  I tell them when they reach the point in their life when health and wellness is important, they are welcome back.

There is no compromise to the ethos this CrossFit Affiliate was forged around.  Nothing is given here.  You earn it.  Your Mommy and Daddy can’t bail you out here.  Whine about the workouts and you’ll get laughed at…  probably by a badass woman that moves more weight than you.

Our strongest are humble and happy.  They have a place to come and thrive without the weak minds interfering.

Get some,

Josh and Tom lead five new members through our intro program. No compromise... our intro course costs money because it's worth it. We have new members come from the other CrossFit gyms go through our intro and say they learned more in its three classes than they did in the entire time at the the other affiliate.

Row 1000m for time.
50 GHD Sit Ups

Burg’s warm up x 2 (45lbs/33lbs)

18 thoughts on “You’re Fat and It’s Your Fault; Part II – The Fellas Get Some Love

  1. sara! says:

    I love it!

    I used to be a fatass. I’m guilty of being a slackass sometimes; I’m guilty of being a hardass sometimes. I’m guilty of being a jackass all of the time.

    CFW grounds me. Thank you all for the opportunity to make myself and my community better. I’ve learned much about personal accountability here. The lessons transcend the walls of the box.

  2. Bridgitte says:

    Just when I thought yesterdays post was as good as it gets!!!! That’s it…You need to come to Hawaii to open a gym!!!

  3. Lil D says:

    Just saw a segment on the news about the rise of Type 2 Diabetes in adults in the US. I think it’s funny (and by funny I mean staggerring and appalling) that, with all of our “medical advances”, diseases like diabetes and heart disease continue to skyrocket. It can’t be as simple as diet. It just can’t. Because a low carb diet with no whole grains is BAD for you apparently. At least, that’s what the doctors who prescribe your statins, blood pressure meds, and insulin are telling you..

  4. TD says:

    Yessir. Ok, I’m only moderately offended at “It’s weak and pathetic if you’re a guy that can only deadlift 250”. AND my BP is catching up with my DL. I see myself in a lot of what you posted. I don’t sleep enough. I “work” all the time. I’m yawning and struggling to get through a WOD because of it. I’m going to finish up this “work” (what pays the bills), and go outside and chop wood for an hour and then eat a 2 inch, 16 ounce piece of raw premium beef tenderloin with an avocado on the side. No beer. No TV. Just sweet sweet sleep next to my beautiful wife who spent the day raising 2 beautiful daughters, teaching them proper nutrition and grammar. And, Tony, if you do open that gym in Hawaii, let me know, we’ll be your first Haole members. Caution though: No JUDGING, foster humility and grace. Encourage those fat (or skinning Omega boys) to get moving and they will. You can push a horse’s head in the water and he’ll either drink or drown.

  5. TD says:

    …By “skinning” i meant “skinny”. CFW makes me want to work hard. When I wake up in the morning after a great night’s sleep and can’t walk, it means I’m doing something right. Not injured. No more chronic back pain. Just sore as hell. So I stretch out and go run for a couple miles. CFW, as well as some real spiritual awakenings of late, have shown me that I can lift, run, jump, FINISH. Thanks guys.

  6. Felice says:

    Hey guys, off topic of Tony’s post… where is everyone who is competing in the Triad Barbell Open staying? Anyone booked a hotel yet? I was looking and I found a La Quinta about 5 miles away from the gym. Alrighty well let me know what you guys are thinking about doing. SEEEEEE YAAAAAA LATAAAA ALLIGATAAA!

  7. ChrisJ says:

    Personally I’m glad to see my avoidance of Double Unders has elevated my manhood! I’m famous for enjoying screwdrivers and decadent meals. CFW has pushed me to lose 25 lbs. My bad habits push back at times and it’s my own fault. I love the atmosphere of personal responsibility that CFW places in each of us because I am the first to call myself out for a misstep, shortcoming, or failure. I fail often in life, but I succeed sometimes too! That’s how we grow and get better. Thanks Team.

  8. t. says:

    Todd… I may have offended myself a bit. I laughed as I wrote it because I too am very guilty of more than one of the things I wrote about.

    I do the best I can to mitigate them. It’s difficult but I keep my diet straight no matter what. It’s the foundation.

    I use the term “you can lead a horse to water…” all the time. I have to say your drink or drown is the best thing I’ve heard in a while. I’m going to use it!

  9. Scott S says:

    Felice – I am thinking of going up Sat morning because weigh in is 8:30-9;30 and trip is 3.5 hours. I will leave at 5 to be safe. We lift at 10:30. Guys at 77kg+ don’t need to be there to weigh in til 11:30. Will you drive while I sleep? 😉

  10. jeremy says:

    You know who would be offended by this, members of the fat acceptance movement:

    Personally I am a huge fan of some type of “fat tax,” whether it be on certain industries or on the obese individual themselves. Yeah, its a regressive tax ( ie link between hunger, poverty, and obesity — — there are very easy ways to get around this. )

    Despite what these fat acceptance people claim (that they are just as health as non morbidly obese people), they are, in reality imposing a ridiculously high cost on society:
    “A recent article in Health Affairs estimated its annual cost to be $147 billion and growing. That translates into $1,250 per household, mostly in taxes and insurance premiums.”

    That is a tax that every fat/clinically obese person forces us to pay.

  11. Gabrielle says:

    I was 1 of the 4 in the intro class and I have to admit I learned more and took away more from those 3 intro classes than I did in the majority of my college classes at UNCW in an entire semester. I’m excited to have joined the “Crossfit Wilmington Family” hehe…

    Oh and Tony, is there a way I can buy a sweatshirt or something to wear to the Garage Games this weekend? Let me know 🙂


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