The Top 10 Reasons Guys Are Fat
10.) They do “endurance” sports. Over achieving at endurance sports shows the Alpha’s you’re weak. Your fat gut shows us all that your cortisol and stress hormones are elevated and you eat too many carbs to support your slow jogs and lazy bikes.
9.) They watch sports instead of playing them. Put the beer, chips and cheese dip down, push back your bar stool or get your fat arse off the couch and take up a sport. Or at least exercise (lift).
8.) They have Kashi (or Lucky Charms) and skim milk for breakfast and pasta for dinner. You remember what Charles said about the box, right? And no… Kashi protein cereals do not have protein. You have to get that from meat. Skim milk is bad for you. Once they’ve removed the fat, it becomes a high carb drink. You might as well drink soy milk.
7.) They drink lattes and mochios and other fru-fru drinks full of sugar. A typical drink at ‘Bucks can have over 300 cals from sugar. Get serious guys… you might as well go to a bar and order a flavored Vodka drink. While you’re there, go ahead and demand a little umbrella for it. What difference does it make? You’re fat… the girls, with their $150 hair cuts, won’t even notice you, much less you’re drinking a lame drink.
6.) They don’t follow a diet at all. They eat meals of pizza, burgers, fries, and anything else they choose and most all of it has bread washed down by beer. Most guys eat over 3500 calories a day and over half of it is from carbs/sugar. Guys, you don’t play sports and your exercise doesn’t burn enough calories to support your diet. Proof? When you look down, you can’t see your… ummmm, shoe strings.
5.) They don’t take time for themselves and relax. They don’t have to… they spend hours each week sitting on their fat butts watching sports and worse, stuff like Grey’s Anatomy that their bossy wife makes them watch. How about less time relaxing, more time doing stuff, eh fat boys?
4.) Their bench press, if they workout at all, is heavier than their dead lift. You have to use big muscles to elicit the release of strength building, fat burning hormones. In CrossFit, it’s just as bad… some skinny clown thinks he’s in shape because he can do double unders or a few ring dips and then promotes that crap as functional fitness, or worse, gymnastics. That stuff is sexy as hell… if you’re a ripped chick in a sports bra and booty shorts that can squat 250lbs or more. It’s weak and pathetic if you’re a guy that can only deadlift 250.
3.) They don’t sleep enough. The average American fat guy sleeps less than 7 hours each night. Sleep is just as important to your health as diet. One supports the other. Don’t get enough sleep and you’re sick. You’re inflammation and lymphocytes are chronically elevated. Your blood panels show that of a sickly person. Turn off the TV, blacken the room, play white noise, and take sleep supporting supplements.
2.) They spend too much time working or just being “busy”. Inverse to the lazy guy, the workaholic who never stops doing work and compromises everything healthy in his life, will be fat. If only skinny fat. Exercise (lift).
1.) They have to go straight home and not to the gym because their fussy wife makes them. And if they don’t compliment her new $150 hair cut she won’t fix him dinner and he’ll be forced to consume only chips and cake and beer.
Seriously, guys and girls are fat for the same reasons. I don’t care if you’re easily offended or not, the fact is, we are a nation of fat people. Our culture has become a place of accepting people and their behavior no matter what it is. Then, when it’s time to hold our own accountable, we allow them to blame others or an institution for it.
Fess up and own your actions. If you’re ok with being fat, be fat. Just don’t expect the tax dollars to take care of you when all the ailments related to the causes of your fat storage come checking in on your lazy butt.
If this and yesterday’s post offends you, you’re on the wrong website. The “feel good and no fault” CrossFit affiliate is just down the road. I’ve said it many times and it will not change… CrossFit Wilmington is where strong people come to train. CFW will always be a haven for Alphas to let it all hang out.
There’s no judgment here, only accountability. I get it from my members. If I act like a jack*ss, they’d leave me for another CF affiliate. They will always get it from me. Accountability can’t come without honesty. I’ve asked members to leave CFW because they were not serious about what we do. I tell them when they reach the point in their life when health and wellness is important, they are welcome back.
There is no compromise to the ethos this CrossFit Affiliate was forged around. Nothing is given here. You earn it. Your Mommy and Daddy can’t bail you out here. Whine about the workouts and you’ll get laughed at… probably by a badass woman that moves more weight than you.
Our strongest are humble and happy. They have a place to come and thrive without the weak minds interfering.
Row 1000m for time.
50 GHD Sit Ups
Burg’s warm up x 2 (45lbs/33lbs)